mtl008 Chapter 436 She, Friends, Hidden Wounds
Chapter 436 She, Friends, Hidden Wounds
Even though Zuo Xiuyan hadn't participated in the other person's life and didn't know the whole story, he still understood the weight of the situation.
That's not just a book, it's more than just a book.
That was Xiong Yu'an himself.
Her rules, her boundaries, her ideas, her efforts... all converge on the things around her, with a particular emphasis on books.
In her world, books are a projection of herself, a complete embodiment of herself.
But the entire meaning represented by the book was destroyed in an accident; at that moment, the rules collapsed and the boundaries were lost.
Is it just the book that's bad? Is it just that one small page?
Yes, it was herself.
A complete book is a complete version of her; a broken book is a broken version of her.
She is someone who can never be restored, someone who is forever fragmented and incomplete.
How many people have experienced the feeling of being completely destroyed?
But... no one around him understood.
A classmate's or teacher's nonchalant remark, "What's the big deal? It's no big deal," became the second ramming blow, smashing into the already crumbling city.
She had no one to rely on, no one to confide in, and silently endured the onslaught.
The unspoken aversion to crying from the crowd turned her already suppressed emotions and pain into unbearable and easily ignored garbage once again.
Hey……
Zuo Xiuyan sighed inwardly and tried his best to control his body to swim upward.
After climbing back to the surface, the cold quickly subsided, restoring her warmth and dryness.
Zuo Xiuyan could already foresee that he would fall into this sea many times.
The scene suddenly sped up, and in just two seconds it was time for get out of class to end.
Out of curiosity, the students came to Xiong Yu'an's table, some asking about the cause and effect, others offering comfort, and finally dispersed in her silence.
She gently wedged the torn page between the pages, then carefully and solemnly closed the book, afraid that it might fly out or fall out later if it was too loose.
"Yu'an, let's go buy some food." Hearing this voice, a glimmer of light appeared in Xiong Yu'an's gloomy eyes.
She looked up.
A figure walked over and stood beside her.
The person who arrived was a girl; her face was fairly clear, and her general features were discernible.
The presence of countless blurry faces in the classroom only served to highlight the special significance of this person in Yu An's heart.
"Friends?" Zuo Xiuyan guessed.
Hesitantly, Xiong Yu'an nodded slightly, opened his schoolbag, put the math book back in its original place, put the pencil case back in the bag, and sealed the bag zipper.
Even if we'll use it in the next class, and it's just a short break between classes, it's clearly safer this way.
She stood up and followed her friend downstairs to the small convenience store on campus, which was already packed with people. Xiong Yu'an didn't pick anything out; she just silently followed beside her, watching her friend pick up and put down snacks until she was satisfied and carried her various spoils to the checkout counter.
"Insufficient balance on campus card." The jarring message blared as my friend placed the card on the payment terminal.
"Huh? I remember having one?" Under the cashier's urging gaze, my friend turned around. "Yu'an, do you have your card? Can I borrow it to swipe? I'll return it to you tomorrow."
"I swiped over 30 yuan, and I'm 5 yuan short."
Xiong Yu'an paused for a moment, her fingers unconsciously rubbing together, then she slowly took out the card from her pocket and placed it on the card.
Because it was face down, Zuo Xiuyan could only vaguely see from the slightly upturned angle that there was a photo pasted on it, along with the name and student ID number.
Hmm? Something's not right, the characters in the name seem a bit too close together?
"Ding." After the notification sound, Xiong Yu'an put away the card, and his friend picked up the large bag of snacks and walked out.
The overcrowded crowd caused the two to separate, and Xiong Yu'an quickened his pace.
After she went outside, her friend was already walking and eating beans a few meters away. Xiong Yu'an hurriedly ran after her. When her friend saw her, she handed her a small bag of crispy green beans: "Here you go."
Xiong Yu'an shook her head, and her friend stuffed the contents into her hand: "There are plenty more."
She took it and whispered, "Thank you."
This was the first time Zuo Xiuyan had heard this usually silent girl speak since she came in.
Xiong Yu'an didn't open it, but just looked at the small bag of green beans in his hand, and then held onto it as he went upstairs back to his seat.
Several people gathered around my friend's seat, shouting, "I want this! Hey, I want that too! Don't fight over it!" Amidst the chaos and laughter, they divided up a large plastic bag of snacks.
Xiong Yu'an watched from afar, lost in thought, then lowered his eyes and put the little green bean into his schoolbag.
She looked down at the zipper on her chest, pulled it down a little, then pulled it back up, then down and up again, as if she was never satisfied. After several rounds, she finally stopped, letting the zipper stop perfectly at the bottom of the V-shaped dividing line on her school uniform.
The scene shifted rapidly, people came and went, but she remained almost motionless in her seat, not interacting with anyone, simply changing her neatly arranged books with each class.
The school bell rang, and the crowd surged out like a school of fish hunting for food. As her friend and a few others passed by her, they said, "Yu'an, want to go to Youpin? The nearby place I mentioned last time is here."
Xiong Yu'an's lips moved slightly, but after glancing at the others, he shook his head.
"Alright then, we're leaving."
She watched her friend's figure disappear little by little, then looked down and used her index finger to fiddle with the end of the zipper on her school uniform, watching it sway back and forth.
She only began to pack her things when only a few people and a cleaning team remained in the classroom.
Put your backpack on, push the chair under the table to align it in the center, and walk out slowly.
Xiong Yu'an lowered his head and stepped on the squares on the floor, one step at a time. When he left the building, there were no squares, so he followed the curb. When he left the school gate, there were no curbs, so he stepped over certain patterns.
Zuo Xiuyan watched her every move carefully.
In some ways, Xiong Yu'an is healing himself.
Use controllable behaviors to enhance and restore your sense of control and security.
Xiong Yu'an walked a few streets and slowed down, occasionally stopping for a while.
After walking and stopping several times, she took out her phone to check the time, began to watch the pedestrians on the road cautiously and nervously, and gradually focused her gaze on the entrance of a shop.
The sign reads "Youpin Stationery". The store is very spacious and does not only sell stationery. At a glance, it also sells tutoring books, best-selling books, dolls, blind boxes, ornaments, snacks and other products that cover almost all the types of goods needed by students.
The large number of students in several different school uniforms gathered here is enough to prove how popular this place is.
Xiong Yu'an scanned everyone, cautiously making his way inside, ready to turn back at any moment.
After circling around, she finally relaxed.
She was avoiding her friends. Zuo Xiuyan guessed at Xiong Yu'an's thoughts; she didn't want the person she rejected to find out that she had secretly come.
If only one friend had invited her, she wouldn't have refused; she simply didn't want to have too much contact with other people.
Her strong sense of boundaries is also reflected in her interpersonal relationships. The more people there are, the easier it is for her own boundaries to be "touched" and "destroyed," and she is also prone to touching the boundaries of others.
These things are neither easy nor enjoyable for her; she avoids trouble and conflict.
There's a high probability that coming to the store today will trigger "danger," but even so, Xiong Yu'an is willing to wait so long to come here, presumably because there's something she desperately needs here.