mtl008 Chapter 219 The Inner Child
Chapter 219 The Inner Child
It was an early morning on the road.
A thin girl was walking silently behind a strong woman.
Suddenly, the little girl tilted her head and looked at the roadside, where there was a colorful stone.
She quickly ran over, picked up the stone, held it tightly and jogged back.
Then he raised his little hand high and handed it to the woman with a smile: "Mom, look, it's so beautiful."
Snapped!
A huge slap came.
"You only know how to pick up trash! Isn't it dirty?"
The stone fell to the ground with a clang and rolled away.
The woman continued to walk forward.
The little girl covered her slightly red hands, at a loss, with tears welling up in her eyes.
She pursed her lips, trying not to cry, glanced at the stone, then at her hands, and followed the woman again step by step.
It was an afternoon in the kitchen.
The little girl took the pot with both hands, filled it with cold water, put it on the induction cooker, and then took out some noodles from the drawer.
Put them one by one into the pot and turn on the power.
When she saw bubbles in the water, she scooped it all out with chopsticks into a bowl, added meat sauce, and brought it to the living room.
She put the bowl and chopsticks on the table and looked at the woman happily: "Mom, I cooked noodles for you."
The woman who was watching TV frowned, took a look, then picked up the chopsticks, stirred it, took a bite, and slammed the chopsticks on the table.
"It's all raw inside! You can't even cook a noodle!"
"Don't you know how to watch me work?"
The little girl's smile was shattered, her eyes were filled with fear, and she took two steps back.
"I saw it, Mom..."
"Look at what you've cooked! If you can't even do such a small thing, what else can you do?"
It was a night at the desk.
"You can't even do this question? Did you listen in class?"
"I heard it..." the little girl said tremblingly.
"You are a student. If you are only asked to study, you can't even learn well!"
"If you don't study well, what can you do when you grow up? Beg for food?"
"If you get this score again, get out of this house. When you learn it, you can come in!"
The little girl's tears fell on the test paper, soaking the paper. She quickly took out a napkin to wipe them.
A crack appeared from the wet spot, and she quickly covered it with her hands.
"Cry, cry, cry, just cry! If you cry again, get out now!"
The little girl immediately held it back and rubbed her eyes violently with the back of her hand.
And things like this are still happening all the time.
She worked hard to make her mother happy, to be a good child, and to satisfy her mother.
However, no matter how hard I study, no matter how hard I work...
Only scolding.
One day, the little girl was standing in front of the mirror and recalled the words she heard from adults when she was young.
From then on I started eating a lot.
Her body is getting bigger and bigger day by day.
In her heart, unknown to anyone, she had new hopes:
"Mom, if I look a little like you, would you look at me more?"
Her figure continued to grow larger and wider, and she began to gradually approach the woman.
"Mom, I look a lot like you. Can you love me a little more?"
However, she found that the woman's eyes still did not have what she expected.
Jiaojiao looked at the woman in the distance. She was clearly right in front of her, yet they seemed so far away.
The adult girl slid down the wall in her room little by little.
Finally, I leaned against the cold wall, curled up my body, hugged my legs tightly, and buried my head in my arms.
"Mom, I tried really hard...Mom..."
"Am I really not okay?"
The suppressed sobs, as if afraid of being discovered, floated cautiously in the house.
Jiaojiao suddenly broke free from her memories.
She felt her chest was so stuffy that she couldn't breathe, so she immediately pounced on the table and swept up the food in large pieces.
"So, the reason you can't lose weight is because you are longing for a figure like this." Zuo Xiuyan said softly.
On the surface, I want to lose weight, but deep down I don’t want to change myself.
How can a person achieve his goal if his external behavior is inconsistent with his internal psychology?
The giant whale kept rejecting, driving away, and swallowing...
Just like her mother, she constantly questioned, criticized, and berated...
Giant whales are everywhere in her life experience.
But every time it arrives, there is only destruction and devastation.
But even so, she just wanted to be with the giant whale.
She might be thinking that if she could turn herself into a giant whale, she would be able to follow in the sea?
Zuo Xiuyan's eyes were filled with some distress, and he said in a low and slow voice:
"Jiaojiao, that's food, not love."
“No matter how much you eat, you won’t get what you want.”
Jiaojiao felt as if she was struck by lightning. The food in her hand fell to the ground with a plop. She stared blankly at everything in front of her, motionless.
In an instant, I felt endless emptiness filling my heart.
If she had been able to suppress this feeling with food before, but now, she knew that even her only comfort was useless.
At this time, the little guy cried even louder, as if he sensed something. He jumped off Jiaojiao's body, pounced over, and bit Zuo Xiuyan's hand.
Feeling the pain, Zuo Xiuyan frowned slightly, then his expression calmed down.
She reached out her other hand and touched its head with her index finger.
"When you eat, you are also saving yourself."
"After all, the inner you is always crying."
The little guy bit less forcefully and his crying became weaker.
“Your mother may not be able to give you love, but if you are willing to give your love to yourself, it will no longer be hungry.”
Jiaojiao shed two lines of tears.
She, who had never moved much before, finally had a violent reaction.
The crying sounds came out of her mouth like waves, one after another.
But this time the cry was not harsh.
The little man completely opened his mouth, climbed down from Zuo Xiuyan's hand, stood on the table, no longer made any noise, and looked at her silently.
The child within me was finally discovered and comforted.
So, the child who has been crying, stop crying.
But the child, who had been trying hard to be strong and not cry, started crying.
The food in the room kept turning into ashes, as if it were originally unreal.
The holes on the little man's body were gradually filling up and recovering little by little.
Jiaojiao's body, which was like a giant whale, was disappearing little by little and was getting smaller and smaller.
It was as if all the sadness that had been suppressed in the body was flowing out.
After a long time, the crying gradually stopped and her body had returned to the state it was when we first met.
Jiaojiao looked at Zuo Xiuyan and didn't speak for a long time.
Then, with a voice that had not yet calmed down, he asked doubtfully:
"Where have I seen you before?"
"Maybe." Zuo Xiuyan said softly.
"My name is Kong Jiaojiao. What's your name? I want to meet you. Can we be friends?"
"My name is Zuo Xiuyan."
Kong Jiaojiao stood up, and the tables surrounding her gradually disappeared.
"Thank you for telling me this today. I will eat well, exercise well, and keep myself healthy."
She paused and said, "When I do it, I will come to play with you. You will be shocked then."
Zuo Xiuyan stood up and smiled: "You will. I'm waiting for you to scare me."
Kong Jiaojiao took a few steps forward and said, "I don't dare to get close to people. I'm afraid they will hate me. No one would want to get too close to me like this."
"But...but, I don't think you would do this..."
She stood in front of Zuo Xiuyan and looked up at her a little embarrassedly: "Can I hug you?"
"can."
Kong Jiaojiao carefully stretched out her hands, wrapped them stiffly around Zuo Xiuyan, and touched him lightly.
Zuo Xiuyan reached out his hand and patted her back gently: "Jiaojiao, may your rich soul live in this light body."
Kong Jiaojiao smiled: "I will."