mtl008 Chapter 782 She Can Understand Her
Chapter 782 She Can Understand Her
For years, Sheng Yunruo seemed to have been living in darkness and dampness.
Even though the capital city has four distinct seasons, without the excessive cold of the north or the endless rain of the south, her world is always cold and damp.
It's like a room that can't be warmed up no matter what, even in winter without charcoal.
It's like an umbrella with a hole; the more you try to repair it, the more rainwater drips through the gaps, and your clothes are always damp.
Even though the sun was shining brightly when she looked up, she acted as if she had never seen the sun before.
It was cold even between my bones.
She's so afraid of the cold that it's like she has a mental illness, and nothing seems to help.
After arriving in Qingzhou, her icy body finally seemed to be able to feel warmth.
She looked up at the sky, at the dazzling sun, at the birds flying by, and at the clouds being blown away.
All of these are unprecedented and novel.
She made the right bet. Even though Huo Lin's background was not as prestigious as those of the famous families in the capital, nor as promising as those candidates who came to the capital for the imperial examinations, he was very broad-minded and gave her a place she could call home.
Back when she lived in the Duke of Sheng's mansion, she rarely left her own courtyard unless absolutely necessary.
But after arriving in Qingzhou, and finally realizing that no one was binding her soul here anymore, she began to tentatively step out of the courtyard. When she walked around the new house for the first time, she laughed out loud, and then hugged Yu's mother and cried bitterly.
Later, Huo Lin took her to the streets, showed her the lantern festival during the Lantern Festival, and even took her horseback riding in the countryside.
It was as if she had been given a second chance at life after death, able to breathe freely, cry freely, and laugh freely.
When Hao-ge'er was born, her cold heart was warmed. Her fear of the cold began to improve that year, and she was even able to walk to the porch with Huo Lin to watch the snow the following winter.
No one knew the joy in her heart, nor did anyone know how long this seemingly simple matter had traveled in her heart.
Meeting Huo Lin and choosing to be brave for herself was the best decision she ever made in her life.
She cherished this hard-won happiness immensely.
So she deliberately blocked out news from the capital. Even when preparing New Year's gifts, she left it all to her mother, never interfering herself. She wanted to forget the past, to protect this small world in front of her, and to live out the rest of her life like this.
Just because you can't hear, see, or think about something doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
You never know when an accident will happen.
When she saw Hao-ge'er carrying the injured little white kitten to find her, she couldn't control herself at all. It was as if she had returned to that afternoon when she happily went back, thinking about arranging a future for Pearl, which would be a perfect ending.
But on that day, a piece of her soul was cruelly torn away.
It can never be perfect again.
Those memories hidden deep in her heart, which she thought she could forget, have never been forgotten for a single moment.
For Sheng Yunruo, pulling herself out of such memories, whether it was the sudden fear of that day or speaking about it now, would be a huge blow.
When she finished speaking, a thin layer of sweat even appeared on her forehead.
She reached out to grab Lu Yangyang's hand, but her fingers were as stiff as ice, uncontrollable.
Lu Yangyang took the initiative to reach out and hold that hand. The warmth of her palm enveloped Sheng Yunruo's cold fingers, and Sheng Yunruo's chaotic heartbeat slowly calmed down.
"Am I really useless? I've been away from the capital for so long, and I'm still a coward."
Sheng Yunruo lowered her eyes, her voice filled with undisguised confusion and helplessness.
She's already moved on, so why can't she get over it?
Lu Yangyang looked at Sheng Yunruo and recalled that dream.
She hadn't thought about that dream for a while.
Even after returning to Qinghe Village, the initial confusion and resentment in her heart had long since disappeared, leaving only warm memories of the past.
When she was in Qinghe Village, Sheng Junyi mentioned that Sheng Yunruo had raised a white cat named Pearl when she was young. Pearl died not long after Sheng Yunzhu returned to the mansion. She then understood why Sheng Yunruo was so frightened by an injured kitten.
She just didn't expect that the reality would be far more cruel than she imagined.
What Sheng Yunruo experienced in the years after Sheng Yunzhu returned to the Duke of Sheng's mansion was actually the same as what the "she" in the dream experienced after returning to the Duke of Sheng's mansion.
Sheng Yunzhu's methods weren't particularly sophisticated. She had so cruelly killed Sheng Yunruo's cat; if this had happened to the Duke of Sheng and his family, anyone who questioned her would have known the truth. But as Sheng Yunruo had said, she couldn't utter a single word. Not only could she not speak, but she had to cover it up completely, ensuring no one knew that the white cat's death was related to Sheng Yunzhu. In their eyes, the white cat was nothing more than an animal, while Sheng Yunzhu was the legitimate daughter of the Duke of Sheng's family.
If anyone were to say that three-year-old Sheng Yunzhu killed Sheng Yunruo's cat to tease her, no one would blame Sheng Yunzhu. They would only blame Sheng Yunruo, the older sister, for being intolerant of her younger sister, jealous of her legitimate sister, and fabricating a story to slander her. No one would even bother to verify the truth, because if it were true, a three-year-old girl cruelly killing a cat—such a reputation could never be allowed to spread from the Sheng State Duke's mansion, and such a person could absolutely not be the daughter of the Sheng State Duke's family.
Therefore, there is no solution.
No one would stand up for little Sheng Yunruo, and no one would care what she lost that day.
To outsiders, it was a beast, but to Sheng Yunruo, the white cat named Pearl was her family, her friend, and a relative who accompanied her through the difficult years after losing her birth mother.
No one cared about her feelings.
But this is only the beginning.
Lu Yangyang knew Sheng Yunzhu's jealousy all too well. Sheng Yunzhu understood that the Duke of Sheng would not care about a concubine's daughter. Lan Shi also doted on her and was very easy to fool. As long as she cried and said a few words, she could kill without bloodshed in the inner quarters, like grinding flesh with a dull knife, and trample Sheng Yunruo into pieces.
The "she" in the dream was the same; she was not a likable person to begin with. As long as Sheng Yunzhu accurately grasped the preferences of the masters of the Sheng State Duke's Mansion, even the clumsy methods would work, driving "her" crazy step by step and making everyone despise "her" as a matter of course.
Thinking of the ending of "her" in the dream, although the blurry images were not clear, at this moment, I completely empathized with Sheng Yunruo's feeling of isolation and helplessness.
She could understand her helplessness.