mtl008 Chapter 320: He just doesn't want to do it anymore.
Chapter 320: He just doesn't want to do it anymore.
Sheng Junyi looked at Sheng Junye, who was lying unconscious on the bed, and remained silent for a moment.
He instructed the doctor to take good care of Sheng Junye, and then left the clinic.
Back at the Duke of Sheng's mansion, several of the household's stewardesses were tearing each other apart, arguing about something else.
Since her mother left the Duke's Mansion and her second aunt left the capital, the Duke's Mansion has been in complete chaos.
Grandmother was too weak to manage things all day, and the steward was in charge of both the outer and inner courtyards. By this time, probably no one had even noticed that Xiao Wu was missing.
"Second Young Master, Second Young Master, what are you doing here? The Duke has been looking for you everywhere!" The steward rushed over and called out when he saw him.
Sheng Junyi turned and went to the Duke of Sheng's study.
Several advisors were still sitting in the Duke of Sheng's study. When he entered, their faces darkened: "Where have you been? Such a big thing happened in the palace, and you still have the mind to run around?"
"Father, so many things have happened in the palace, but is our family alright? My maternal grandfather committed suicide by crashing into a pillar, and his fate is unknown. My mother has suffered one blow after another. Have you thought about what will happen to her in the future?" Sheng Junyi felt a bit annoyed, as there was no point in saying these things.
He should have seen through it long ago; he had been clinging to illusions all along.
Upon hearing Sheng Junyi's words, the Duke of Sheng's expression changed. He had been absent from the morning court session that day; as a military officer, he wasn't required to attend every session. When he returned with the news, the deposed crown prince had already left the capital. He hadn't had time to think about anything else; the deposed crown prince's case was of paramount importance. Although he had made preparations, there were still many things to arrange and handle now that the matter was truly settled. Especially since the Duke of Sheng's family, while outwardly unrelated to the deposed crown prince, was part of the crown prince's faction thanks to Sheng Junyao, the heir apparent, it wouldn't be easy for the Sheng family to protect themselves.
He was so busy that he immediately summoned his staff to discuss how to protect the Sheng family as soon as he returned. He had no time to think about anything else.
But now that Sheng Junyi has brought it up, he can't help but worry about what will happen to Lan Yin in the future.
He wanted to bring Lan Yin back, but he knew Lan Yin's personality too well; she would never come back, even if it meant death.
Duke Sheng felt a sudden darkness before his eyes and a throbbing headache.
Sheng Junyi gave a sarcastic smile: "Father, all these years, I have always followed your orders. While my elder brother has made great achievements outside, I have been hiding in the corner handling all the trivial matters for you because I also wanted to protect the Duke of Sheng's mansion as you said. I also naturally thought that some sacrifices were inevitable for the sake of the greater good. But what has been the result? Open your eyes and look, is this still a home?"
"You scoundrel! What are you saying!" Duke Sheng shouted.
The staff members exchanged bewildered glances and hurriedly and awkwardly got up to take their leave.
"What exactly do you want?" Duke Sheng shouted angrily at Sheng Junyi.
"I'm not doing anything, I just don't want to anymore." Sheng Junyi said indifferently, "Father, you should know me. I'm not a particularly responsible person. It's just that when I was young, I couldn't stand that you only had eyes for my eldest brother and only praised him for what he did. I was unwilling to accept that. I thought I could do something too. I had to be more useful than him. So I listened to you and have been your tool all these years. I've done all sorts of dirty and shady things because I felt that someone as upright as my eldest brother would never do such a thing in his life. Does that mean I'm not worse than him? At least I'm doing my best to protect the Sheng family, don't you think?"
“But what does the Sheng family have left now?” Sheng Junyi sneered. “If Father still thinks everything he has done is particularly meaningful, then you can continue, I’m not going to keep you company.”
"What do you mean?" Duke Sheng was furious. "The Sheng family raised you all these years, and everything you have now, isn't it all given to you by me! Shouldn't everything you've done for this family be taken for granted!"
"Yes, that's only natural. So, even though my elder brother was a good student, it was only natural that he gave up what he originally loved, abandoning literature for martial arts, and went to the Northwest to make a name for himself. As for me, I've had a talent for martial arts since childhood, but I have to follow the rules and pretend to study in the school. Because you were afraid His Majesty would be suspicious, you made me hang out with a bunch of playboys all day, putting on a show of being neither good at literature nor martial arts for everyone to see. That's only natural too. When Lu Yangyang came back, what were you planning? You knew all along that she was engaged to the Crown Prince. You wanted to control her because you..." You can't gamble on whether the Crown Prince will eventually be deposed. If he isn't, and His Majesty proposes this marriage, as long as you control Lu Yangyang, and she gives birth to a son, it's not impossible for the Imperial Grandson to ascend the throne. However, you can't abandon Sheng Yunzhu either, because you believe she can help you control the Third Prince. The Fifth Prince is too young to be of much help, and is currently useless, so you should simply ignore him and not give him a second glance. Including your illegitimate sons and daughters, if they didn't have some outstanding abilities, you probably wouldn't even remember their ages.”
"All of this is taken for granted, all of this is taken for granted for the sake of this family. This is what you've always insisted on, what you've taken for granted. But where is your home? Do you even have a home anymore? Your wife and children are scattered, the Duke of Sheng's mansion is a mess. I also want to know, what am I doing now? What have I gotten in return?"
"Sheng Junyi!" Duke Sheng grabbed an inkstone from the table and threw it at Sheng Junyi.
Sheng Junyi turned his head away, and the inkstone shattered precisely into four pieces on the ground behind him.
He had lost count of how many times this had happened.
During this time, he had been pondering the point of being trapped in this quagmire. As a child, he always wanted to compete with his older brother because everyone favored him. He was willing to abandon all principles to prove himself. But what was the result? His father didn't love him, his mother, disappointed in him time and again, also didn't love him, and his younger siblings didn't love him either. If there was anyone in this family who treated him fairly and showed him any brotherly affection, it was probably his older brother, whom he both envied and resented. But if his older brother knew what he had done to Yangyang, he would probably beat him first.
How pathetic.
This is what he has gained over the years.
There's nothing to regret. This is the path he chose, but he's tired of it and can't go on anymore.
"Father, take care of yourself." Sheng Junyi turned and left. When he reached the outside of the study, he paused for a moment, a slight smile playing on his lips, and suddenly felt unusually relaxed.
……
Half a month later, the ship carrying Zong Que and Lu Yangyang sailed from the North-South Canal into the Mi River. Continuing south along the Mi River, they would reach the southernmost port of Yuzhou.
On the Mi River, it was the plum rain season, and the area was shrouded in mist and rain all day long.
The world seemed to be shrouded in a cloud of smoke.