mtl008 Chapter 267: Weird and Joyful Melon
Chapter 267: Weird and Joyful Melon
Daju: [There is a man in a village near Shengjing. He is from a poor family, but he spends all day thinking about becoming rich.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Nowadays, are there still people who need to rack their brains to make money? How lazy are they? Are they too lazy to even think about snakes drilling their assholes?]
Daju: [You start using vulgar words again. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [What a vivid expression! ]
Fellow spectators, Miss Tian is right. In Shengjing, as long as you have hands and are not lazy, your life will not be bad. Isn't this person so lazy that he is like a snake drilling into its anus?
Daju: [A few days ago, he read a book and saw a sentence in it: "If a mantis can wait for a cicada to cling to its own leaves, it can become invisible." He immediately became interested. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [What does this sentence mean? ]
Daju: [You will understand after listening. So the man hurried to the tree, looking up attentively to find the leaf that the mantis used to hide when catching the cicada.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Have you found it? ]
Daju: [The leaves fell with the wind and mixed with the ones that had fallen on the ground. The man couldn't tell them apart, so he swept all the fallen leaves together and filled several buckets to take home.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [This is interesting. What does this person want to do? Can he get rich by doing this?]
Daju: [He took the leaves one by one in his hand and asked his wife if she could see him. He asked several times, and his wife said she could see him several times in a row.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [This guy probably needs to see a doctor. There's something wrong with his brain.]
Daju: [At this rate, his wife finally got tired of being asked and angrily said she couldn’t see.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [My wife has said several times that she can see it, so this guy should give up. He is so persistent.]
Daju: [Guess what this person did next? ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Can you make a fortune by selling leaves? ]
Daju: [No! The man was so happy when he heard it, thinking that the leaf could indeed become invisible, that he hurriedly took the leaf to the market and took the man’s things right in front of him.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [It would be strange if people didn’t think he was a thief! ]
Daju: [Yes, he was caught by the villagers and brought to Li Zheng. He was still trying to argue that he didn't steal anything and that others slandered him.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [This is too easy. Just let the village head hold his leaf and ask him if he can see the village head, right? ]
Daju: [He was obsessed with wanting to get something for nothing, and he cursed the village head for cheating. The villagers reported him to the authorities, and your father sent someone to tie him up and take him to the government office to be interrogated.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [This man's crime is not serious enough to warrant imprisonment. How did my father sentence him? ]
Daju: [After listening to this man's confession, your father was amused by his absurdity and released him without punishing him.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Is there any follow-up? I think this person is not only lazy, but also stubborn.]
Daju: [He believed the anecdotes recorded in the book so much that he gave up the invisible leaves and went looking for other ways to make money.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [What?]
Daju: [The book says that eating dried corpses can cure diseases.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Oh my god, he's not going to dig a grave, is he?]
Daju: [We are preparing to go out and look for the mummy. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [I give up. Let my dad send someone to arrest him. He is simply a walking fool.]
Daju: [I don’t know what the author of the book was thinking, eating mummies can cure diseases? ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [I have something to say about this. This kind of thing has happened in the West.]
The onlookers: Today’s onlookers are really absurd, but I can’t stop watching them. It’s really broadening my horizons!
Daju: [So this kind of thing really happened? ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [When an emperor of a country in our country died, his descendants would make his body into a mummy, emptying his internal organs and stuffing them with spices. After the body was soaked in medicine, it was wrapped with cloth strips and buried in a specific tomb to become a mummy.]
Daju: [The world is so big, there are all kinds of strange things. Shocking! ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [You, a divine beast, have never seen anything like this, right? ]
Daju: [No! First time hearing this.]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Later, the bodies of these emperors were snatched away by looters and widely publicized as a panacea for treating syphilis, lung disease and other diseases.]
Daju: [Then the people will definitely rush to eat the mummy. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [How do you think they would eat the mummy? Would they tear it off and chew it directly or in some other way?]
Daju: [Just chew it directly, it’s convenient and quick. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Wrong. They cut the mummies into small pieces, ground them into powder, and drank them with red wine or milk.]
Daju: [Ugh! Stop talking, I can’t even eat dried fish tonight. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Westerners have been eating mummies for thousands of years. Moreover, only nobles, that is, high-ranking officials, can eat mummies. Ordinary people cannot.]
Daju: [I admire their courage. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [That person is too curious. Curiosity kills the cat! ]
After eating this melon, the onlookers felt terrible.
What a mummy! How disgusting!
Daju: [Eat something fun, this is too strong. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [We have a kind of coarse grain called taro, which is very big. This kind of taro is not found in the north, and northerners have never seen it.]
Daju: [It seems that there is no such plant as taro in Mingning Country? ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Eh, there really isn’t one. I haven’t seen it.]
Crowd: Yes, yes, there are taro in Shengjing, but they are not ripe yet.
Daju: [Continue, the melon on the taro. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [A northerner moved to the north. One day he visited a southerner’s home. The friend gave the northerner some taro, but did not teach him how to eat taro.]
Daju: [How do you eat taro? Since it is a food, it should be cooked before eating, right? ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Qingchen, you are getting smarter and smarter.]
Daju: [Hehe, I am extremely smart. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [After northerners took the taro home, they peeled it, cut it into pieces and shared it with their family members. Guess what happened?]
Daju: [Diarrhea after eating? ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [No, no, no, taro contains irritants that can irritate the skin and cause contact dermatitis, which can lead to symptoms such as itching, redness, swelling, and papules on the hands. It is commonly known as allergy. Then, when northerners peel taro, they don’t take good protection, and their hands become extremely itchy and scratched.]
Daju: [They also ate taro raw. Wouldn’t that irritate their throats? ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [Correct. The next day, the southerner remembered that he had not taught his northerner friend how to cook taro, so he went to his northerner friend’s house.]
Daju: [Will I get beaten? ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [A southerner saw his northern friend’s hand was red, swollen, and broken, and hurried to ask for help. After learning the result, he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, and said frankly that he was not thoughtful enough and asked someone to find a doctor to relieve his friend’s pain.]
Daju: [Have you taught northerners the correct way to eat it? ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [I have. People from the north kept complaining that they thought this thing was a fruit and ate it raw. But they didn’t expect that after eating it, not only their hands felt itchy, but also their throats felt itchy.]
Crowd: My throat is itchy, it’s so uncomfortable.
Daju: [When it comes to food you don’t understand, it’s best not to make decisions on your own. You must ask more questions. Otherwise, you will suffer. ]
Tian Xiaoxiao: [We have a lot of fun things to do there.]
Daju: [I want to know.]